If It Moves, Kick It is a tumblelog.

A classic old-fashioned All-American anti-soccer sportswriting rant

It’s awfully hot out in Las Vegas, where Tim Dahlberg pines for the good old days when Americans rooted for sports that were, well, American:

“We’ve seen this all before, beginning in 1994 when the World Cup was played in the U.S. and a cute dog named Stryker was the mascot. Tens of thousands of kids around the country already were playing the game, so FIFA figured that giving the U.S. the World Cup would spawn a new generation of soccer lovers from Texas to Maine.

“Didn’t happen, so they tried again with the 1999 women’s World Cup. I was there, among 90,000 screaming tweeners and their parents, to watch four teams combine for zero — count ‘em, zero — goals in regulation in the two final games at the Rose Bowl, a day now remembered by most for Brandi Chastain showing off her sports bra.

“Those screaming girls are grown up now and have grown out of their brief flirtation with the game. The women’s pro league spawned by that World Cup was a bust, and MLS isn’t doing a lot better now, even with the brief hysteria of a David Beckham sighting.

“Face it. We’re a nation that loves football, not futbol. We prefer sports where scoring comes in bunches, and we like a sport even more when we play it better than other countries.”

Happy Independence Day!